This is me

Let's Talk...

Let's talk about everything. But, first, let me introduce myself. I'm Christine.

That's all. You'll get to know me better throughout my writing. Actually, you'll get to know me better than anyone. Because that's me. I don't like talking. I'm not good at it. I always say the wrong words, or sometimes come out too rough in a gentle sentence, or maybe ask something before thinking twice about it. I also laugh. Like...unexpectedly. I'm on the car with my mom, I start laughing. Why are you laughing? she always asks. Nothing, I always reply. I'm watching a movie and someone dies, I start laughing. Sometimes really hard, you'd swear I was watching a comedy movie. Everyone turns to look at me like I'm crazy. I can't blame them, but I also can't help it. I'm either thinking about something else or not paying much attention to the movie. I just get the urge to laugh, or maybe I'm really happy. And what do you do when you're really happy? You laugh. You don't see anyone laughing in a funeral, do you? That's because they're not happy.
This is me. Crazy weird me.
I'm what people call "chubby". Or big, bulging, bulky, chunky, heavy, hefty. (Where do these names come from? Big and heavy I understand, but chunky? I'm not peanut butter!) Please. Do you have to make another name for fat, just to make it sound pretty and not hurt anyone's feelings? It is what it is. I am what I am. Honestly, I have no problem with that. Of course, if I had a wish, I'd wish to be skinny. But, anyway, who wouldn't, right?
I'm very happy. I laugh at everything! Of course, you could have kind of figured that out already. I even laugh at a bad joke. It's embarrassing but I can't keep a straight face, I just can't! Once, someone made a really bad joke and no one laughed. Of course, I was smiling like a Colgate model in a stupid TV commercial. I just wanted to laugh out loud so much. And the embarrassment of the one who made the joke was making that even harder. Plus, everyone was so serious! I couldn't help myself, I chuckled. Giggled. And then...I burst out laughing really hard and everyone just stared at me. After a minute I was still laughing so everyone just started laughing too because, honestly, I looked like a maniac. Laughing my butt off and no one knew why but me. Actually, I didn't even know why I was still laughing.
But, no one knows that part of me. I try to look serious all the time. I don't know if that makes me look smart because I have good grades, or dumb because...well, just because. I mean, how do you describe someone looking dumb? You just know it when you see it. Because, no, my mouth is not hanging half open like an idiot who doesn't understand something. I could be called nerd or geek, too, though. I am always reading. Between classes in the halls and in class during lessons. Everywhere, anytime. When I'm into a good book, that is. Of course, sometimes I set my book aside and go do "essential" things like eating or paying attention to the teacher to pass a test.
Anyway. I feel like I'm writing too much. Beware, though, sometimes I say stupid stuff.
One more thing. You may be wondering why the name of this blog is Shaded Sunshine. Well, it's all about the outside world. I'm like, this bubble of bright light, but you can't really see me 'cause I'm hiding in everyone's shadow. You'll know more later on.